I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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