I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
