covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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