Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
