Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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