im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
