Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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