whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
