Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
