sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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