Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
