my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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