She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
