with your own penis?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
