So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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