Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize