what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
