Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
