do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
