Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize