I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
