Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
you told grandpa to call you daddy
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
