You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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