i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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