1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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