I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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