I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
