THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
