So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
