I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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