nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
