We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
