i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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