Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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