I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
