What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm eating all of the evidence.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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