Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
