I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize