love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
