but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
