Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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