My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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