nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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