yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
