he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Randomize
