walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
