I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Randomize