My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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