first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
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