well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
im holly from the hills drunk
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
