wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
