im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Boobs speak an international language.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
