I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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