3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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