Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
