You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize