Well douche your snatch and let's go!
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
