i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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