i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Randomize
