do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize