He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
