he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Alive.
So much puke
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I have post one night stand depression
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
