So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize