apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Randomize
