And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
