I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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