Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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