I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
