doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
