i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
