I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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