Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
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