i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
