My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
