I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Do vagina's smell?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
